1. Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
9. Black women’s tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man’s struggle in white America.
10. Black women do not cater to their men.

Amid sharing these ten reasons with several Black women, some agreed to these assessments while others retorted (proving issue number 5) with negative connotation in their sentiments, placing blame on the opponent rather than listening and evaluating the dynamics that have prevented them from obtaining and maintaining relationships with their black men. Those women shared speculations such as: white women have low self esteem and are easy to manipulate; white women are nasty, take abuse and will do anything to keep a black man; white women are still considered trophies and black women considered big lipped, loud-mouthed jigga boos that hold black men back; black men are lazy and don’t want to be responsible or held accountable for their lives, their children and their families; white women make it easy for them to escape.

Some were thankful for having heard the truth in answers that came from the mouths of men themselves, rather than the resentful loose-lipped, bitter and angry women who probably hold valid reasons for their singleness, which may have nothing at all to do with race. Though society may no longer flinch at the sight of a black man with a white woman, it is apparent that some women are still scarred by the neglect and oversight imparted by their counterparts.

In Why Black Men Date White Women (An explicit excision in sexual politics), Rajen Persaud speaks about the soiling of the black female and the sexual distance between us that was caused by the misappropriated mentalities introduced during slavery. “Throughout American history, the white male and Black females have had an open sexual relationship. Not consensual by any means, it was born out of rape, humility and control.” He goes on to explain, “Without any rights, legal recourse or protection from the local or state authorities, a black woman could make no decision concerning anything that affected her life she was completely incapable of rejecting her master’s wishes her alternatives were to do or die.” Apparently, the devastation experienced by black slaves caused inertia amongst the male population; thus prompting a reduction in perceptions of royalty and motherhood into likes of derogatory notions amounting to nothing more than sexual brood mares used to increase the slave population. From the looks of it, the once fertile and revered impression of the Black Queen held by black men was devalued and has yet to be recovered.

Perhaps the problem really boils down to the fact that we no longer listen to one another. Dialogue must take place to gain better understanding of the pain that resides on both sides of the gender fence. There is large ground to be covered in the restoring of our relationships with one another if we are to preserve our people. We as humans have every right to exercise our preferences; however, we should really begin to stop and think about “the browning of our nation,” as interracial children are being born every day. We are already losing the race in different aspects of society. The least we can do is work harder at congregating in love as man and woman. We should ponder if love really conquers all; even when we are on the verge of becoming an endangered species. It is, however, harshly possible that we may never be able to come together in harmonious attempts to survive as a race.